Save the Shield! A Vanderbilt sports blog

Thanks to NYDore for helping out in weeks when I can’t do the ballot. Again, check out his new blog, When [It] Strikes Me, for more than the three posts a season I feel like doing here. This week’s ballot is a joint effort.

Good grief, do we still have two weeks of games before Alabama-Florida? Someone please put this season out of its misery! The middle six teams grow even more muddled by the week. Four of the six are 2-2 against the rest of their peer group. You can’t use momentum because that changes every week. So we just sorted out the teams we could, threw the rest in a hat, and voilà.

1. Alabama - We’ve been thinking that, based on the clinical ruthlessness of his teams, Nick Saban should be an executioner at the state prison. But you know, with all the joy that he brings the majority of Alabamans, he can probably settle for consistently pulling the plug on Vol and Auburn fans’ collective hopes.
2. Florida - After a one week engagement of “Impressive”, the Gators have gone back to our regularly scheduled performance, “Merely Effective.” Good enough.
3. LSU - Putting Louisiana Tech between Bama and Ole Miss screams sneak up… but c’mon. You’re better than that. Weak wins against Washington, Vandy, and now LT make me wonder if LSU isn’t further back toward the pack.
4. Georgia - The Dawgs are 3-1 versus the muddled middle. If you forgive the whuppings at the hands of Urban and Boy Blunder, it’s not too bad a resume.
5. Ole Miss - Classic Houston Nutt: Wait until the team has clinched a season of profound disappointment, then show up with the SEC’s answer to the ‘07 Patriots.
6. South Carolina - A strong showing against Florida may have fallen short, but Spurrier may need a similar effort against Clemson to stay off the (really) hot seat.
7. Tennessee - Boy Blunder turns disciplinarian, but does it really count to kick someone off if they’re headed for jail anyway?
8. Auburn - Ask your athletic director if Chizik might be right for you. Chizik may cause heartburn, blood pressure rising, euphoria, heartbreak, confusion and restless leg syndrome. Please consult your doctor before your team hires Chizik.
9. Arkansas - Arkansas’ offense has run over more defenses than any other SEC team. Which begs the question: How did Alabama ever hold them to 7 points?
10. Miss State - An upset in the last two wouldn’t shock me, or probably anyone else. Though the domination by Bama was stark, even by Saban standards.
11. Kentucky - Kentucky had four different passers in the first half, and only RB Derrick Locke completed a throw. But alas, when you get to play Vanderbilt this year, it just doesn’t matter.
12. Vanderbilt - We guarantee the rest of the SEC that every penny of our ESPN money will be spent on pain relievers for our fans. Now stop asking for the money back. We gave you your bowl last year.